Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Are you financially supporting him? If he doesn’t work who pays the bills? When people are unemployed they need to spend as much time searching for a job as they would working. He needs to be looking and applying for jobs 8 hours a day, he shouldn’t have time to be bored. What’s up with no job situation? You said he rushed you to move in, is it so you can pay the bills?
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Well, when we first moved in, we were both unemployed and looking for jobs. This was early 2017. We both got jobs and were fine for a while.
Then I got another job, which I LOVE, but had to move hundreds of miles away for. He decided to stay with me (his worst fear is losing me). This was earlier this year, around spring. He was set on getting a job, and I did everything I could to help (especially since my new job gave me lots of connections). However, he was in limbo about what he wanted to do, and he didn't want to go back to a cashier job because it gives him anxiety.
It's been tough... he actually turned down two job offers because they "weren't his match" (one had some job safety hazards that I totally understand, the other one I wish he sort of went for but I wanted to be supportive so I didn't say anything). He had saved up a decent amount of money before moving here, so we've been fairly splitting expenses, so I can't give him that much crap, but it has sucked because I wanted to save up money with this internship I'm in, and I haven't been able to do so yet.
He's moving back to his hometown/going back to school soon (in less than a month, so it'd be pointless to job search now) and will be able to work, socialize with friends, and keep himself busy soon. He admits that he needs structure in his life, and I'm trying hard not to judge our relationship by how things are going now because I have been with him when he has his own life, job, etc.
I realize I have every right to be "bitter" about this, however, and I'm pretty excited because soon, I won't have to pay any rent and can save a ton of money (I get free housing through my internship).
It's been hard because initially, when we moved, I loved him enough to sacrifice my time and money into him, but since we moved things have been so different, and I'm so detached from him now, so continuing to support him has felt conflicting. Sometimes I worry if I'm just being stingy with money, but at the same time this is the first time where I'm getting paid to do something i actually care about, and I just wanted to make the best out of it.