Hi, LL! Well, I personally think you're "adulting" very, very well! Managing your resources and taking care of yourself responsibly will positively affect your stability and satisfaction in life. Dealing with a mental illness, while difficult, doesn't absolve you of doing your very best, and you should be proud of your accomplishments.

Some 40 years ago, I started keeping a budget...nothing fancy...at first it was just a list of things owed (power bill, phone bill, insurance, etc.) and checks written, but over time I began to rely on it to determine if, and when, I would have some "fun" money (discretionary funds) to look forward to. I found that managing my money was empowering, even when it meant that I had to deny myself something I really wanted.

You can cry, scream, and grieve all you need to, and people here will listen. Feeling overwhelmed is scary, and there are a lot of things we can't control in life no matter how much discipline we have. But you're doing all the right things, LL. One step at a time.