To answer your questions, yes, I have dealt with several emotional abusers and gaslighters.

What helped me to move on and grow was to learn how to identify, pay attention to, and not dismiss, ignore or excuse the red flags I noticed. I have let the behaviors play themselves out too in the past. Like, oh, that's a red flag, but I'll see how this unfolds still. Once you see a red flag though, that's the moment to back off emotionally (and physically), observe and to be cautious and wary, if you are still moving forward. Then the moment you see it arise in their behavior is the moment to walk away, right from the start.

That's what I've learned from my experience. You can learn from this experience and learn how to identify the red flags of emotional/verbal/psychological abusers so you don't have to repeat similar relationships over and over, like I did.

Kudos to you for getting to a counselor, for getting out and for saving yourself from further misery, self-doubt, and degradation!