I started a new job since Wednesday. It almost has been a week now and I am too exhausted. Having no pleasure or happiness or sense of achievement in what I am doing.

I am going into a depressive episode since yesterday evening. I ate like crazy and I slept late and wake up too late to work and now I am setting at my office want to do nothing at all but disappear or vanish.

I got nothing and no one to talk to. No matter how much close friends you have you can't rely or trust anyone to talk to. I haven't been in a relationship for almost 7 years now and last one was a mess already.

I am not a bad person. I am not a failure or a loser or anything of those things I keep telling myself since yesterday. I am someone who want nothing but happiness to himself and others. I really don't know how long I can keep going. I hate that and I want to get ride of it and do something with my life. Please if someone out there understand what I am going through just let me know.