My Support Forums - View Single Post

Blueberrybook · 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

TW
I am feeling really frustrated after my appointment, even though nothing really went wrong with it. My pdoc noted the impulse issues/suicidal thoughts I had while on the lexapro and lamictal, and mentioned therapy for impulse issues might help. I agree that DBT could be useful (I assume that is what he meant), and have been looking into it anyways, but somehow the way the convo went made it feel a little invalidating. Like, I fought and controlled my impulses with everything I had and acted on hardly any of them while having the urge to step out in front of a train, drive recklessly, all sorts of things. So, I feel like I need the cause to stop...there is only so much a person can do when their mind is taken over and the impulses are that strong. Also my pdoc had said I was on bipolar spectrum when I reacted to the lexapro with a mixed episode, and I have been in that state or my moods have been cycling since, but I know that reactions just on meds doesn't necessarily mean you have bipolar, and there is some debate if a spectrum even exists. Anyways, point is, after our convo I now really don't know when he even thinks anymore, so could be totally wrong in assuming my problems are even related to moods/bipolar and if so, I am sorry if I have been posting here incorrectly. Trying without meds for the next month to see what happens. I am just really struggling and confused right now. This is quite rambling I realize, so thanks if you read it. I woke up after not enough sleep feeling agitated/irritable/depressed so I think that is influencing this right now. Going to get outside and do some stuff and then maybe meditate later and talk to a friend, see if that all helps.

If you are unsure of your diagnosis, it never hurts to get a 2nd opinion. I found once I was diagnosed with major depression, the next pdoc never seemed to question it until on and on until my last (really good) pdoc. Also, I had a huge manic episode with in her office & waiting room. She'd had me down as bipolar II after seeing her roughly 1 year, but the big manic thing changed me to bipolar I. So if you've been carrying around a diagnosis of bipolar from the start, many pdocs will not re-diagnose. You have to ask for it. If you doubt you have bipolar, you really should get another opinion. Do you have other traits of bipolar - hypomania, spending problems, hypersexuality (even just excessive masturbation) and then of course the depressed episodes? I don't understand though...are you having those impulses to do risky things like drive recklessy, etc. now or was it just when taking the Lexapro or are you just saying that's how you feel the convo with your pdoc went? Are you still on Lexapro? If you've been cycling off Lexapro though and it's out of your system (say a good 6 weeks), odds are it's bipolar.

And if you don't like your pdoc or feel that he listens well, at least get on a waiting list for a highly rated pdoc that takes your insurance. Bad pdocs are a dime a dozen out there, in my experience. The good ones can be hard to find.