I Havent talked to my mother for over 7 months now i found out through flashbacks that my mother sexually abused me she dont know that i know this the flash backs makes me feel ashamed of myself and ashamed that she is my mother i am Transgender male and i see other peoples parent loving them for being them as they go through there transitions and being loved by there family my mother is toxic in other ways as well and am better off without her in my life my sister never talks to me and when she does she says unhelpful things and dont under stand my mental health at all my nieces and nephew are brilliant but because of the my mother i cant have contact with them things have been going bad since 31 of july it was my step dads birthday and my nieces birthday i lost my step dad to suicide 7 years ago on the 15th of September my mental health is that i see things and hear voices i have been seeing demons gouging there eyes out i took am overdoes and ended up in hospital over night a few days later my mental health got worse and i ended up going to the mental health team who told me to take extra meds the next day at 5 am i went out the house with just my pjs and boots on walked to the bus stop got on the bus and ended up at the bus station where someone got the police my husband i thought had a fight with me but i was seeing things he was in bed sleeping i was also seeing demons they where going to kill me so i ran out the house because of that and then went to the bus station the poilce took me to the mental health team and they talked to me and told me to try the meds instead of going in to hospital two days later i was at the beach with a friend and my husband went on the bus home and my mother was on the bus she said things that where upsetting and toxic i then got off the bus at the next stop and she stayed on the bus
she since sent me messages on my Facebook i didnt know friends of friends can contact me but then my husband blocked her today my mental health is worse i see snakes in peoples mouths and there is so many daemons around me i have taking my medication and i feel a bit upset but there not helping the crisis team saying am stressed at the moment they dont know about my mother as i dont want to say to them about the abuse but its nearly September the 15th and am not coping