Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I emailed my cousin my condolences. I told her I tried to call her yesterday but couldn’t get through.
I don’t know why I had anxiety about sending condolences and put it off.
I know it would have been nicer to mail her a card, but she sent a simple email for her wedding invitation.
I’ll call my mom in a couple of days and act like nothing happened. That’s the dysfunction bs way we are now. I feel like an awful brat daughter for telling off my mother, especially my 83 year old mother. Everyone here must think I’m trash. I’m sorry I don’t have better self control. I will try to get off the phone next time she starts. If there even is any next time if she is speaking to me.
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When our kids are little, we teach them to write thank you notes, etc but now that you are an adult--your aunt and her are just crossing boundaries/gossiping--you and your cousin's relationship is between the two of you. No wonder you have anxiety. Your mom has likely been too enmeshed in your business your whole life and you have a bad habit of giving her what she wants (verses what you want and need) because she trained you to be this way and you went along because you just wanted to make her happy/love her.
And she gave you too many negative messages about yourself--procrastination is a very minor crime. You definitely aren't trash but perhaps you let your H and mom get away with WAY too much!
But now you are taking your life back and the more you do this, the better you will feel about yourself!
