I feel like if it was no big deal, you wouldn't have brought it up.

It sounds like your dad has done some very inappropriate things with you. I would be very uncomfortable with any of the things you've described. My dad never touches me like that, or talks to me about his sex life. That would be a huge boundary violation.

I know it's very scary to think about it, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. You must be so scared and uncomfortable, not knowing when this will happen again.


The reason people describe this behavior as abusive isn't to scare you or to be mean to your dad. He might be wonderful that 70% of the time, we don't know him. But the behavior you describe is classic sexual grooming behavior. Even if he's wonderful the rest of the time, these aren't the normal actions of a loving father.


It's normal to be scared and confused by that. Tell your mom or another trusted adult in your life how you're feeling and what's going on, if you can.