Quote:
Originally Posted by FergusonsFather
Well done for trying your best to deal with your anorexia, OCD and other issues.
You say that they have long since been a problem, and haven’t caused you upset for some time, so you dealt with them as best you could.
Having had these issues you can probably understand in yourself that you have the potential to be prone to deep feelings and anxieties. We can deal with our issues but I’m sure you’d agree that the potential for them to become problems at a later stage in life is still there.
Could it be that this recent change in circumstance, a seemingly life changing one, considering the fact that you’ve not been in a relationship before, has reawakened some anxiety, has bumped your life as it were and possibly made you feel vulnerable?
Certainly loving someone and needing them can make us feel this way. And knowing that you need someone can cause terrible fear in all of us, fear of loss and hurt?
Anyway, just my thoughts, I apologise if I said the wrong thing but I do hope you can cope with these demons you’re facing,
FF
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Thank you for responding.
I was wondering what it could be and if it was, in anyway, connected to my ptsd. I've lived my whole life trusting only myself and not trusting anyone, but finally being in a relationship, I've since put my guard down and learned to trust someone.
And that scares me, because if I get hurt, it'd be my fault.
The smallest problems don't just make me terribly sad, I feel an inescapable level of sadness and fear. I guess I could say that I get short, but extreme bouts of suicidal thoughts.
I'm so terrified of being hurt again, I've been hurt by so many people so many times. But those were people I didn't really trust to begin with. If I were to be hurt in this relationship, I feel like it would be my last straw.
At least, that's how I feel. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy being in love and not make it such a huge deal. But it's such a huge deal to me.