I just want the magic again. The last time I was hypomanic was the best. It went on for a whole month. I got so much done. I met my boyfriend. Everything was magical. I soooo wish I could feel like that again. Nothing bothered me. I didn’t do anything too stupid so it didn’t ruin my life. I didn’t get too high. It was great.

I feel so blah now. Being unemployed for five months has really taken its toll on me. I’m so bored all the time I just sleep. I don’t have any motivation to do anything like cook or clean or go to the gym. I just sit around like a lump. And now that I probably lost the job I had I’m even more depressed thinking about starting the process again. It’s horrible. And I realize it’s not nearly as bad as what some of you are going through but I just...feel stuck.

Plus my boyfriend has become really distant. We don’t talk anymore really and we hardly ever see each other. This is because of his work schedule. He works ten to seven and then goes to the gym so he’s not home till 9:30 and by then he’s too tired to talk. Plus he has his son in the weekends so I can’t see him then. I want us to get through this but I don’t see how we can unless he commits to giving me time each day to talk to me for a little while and commits to seeing me no matter how tired he is. All we do is cuddle in bed anyway. It’s not like we go out on dates or anything. And I’m perfectly fine with that. I just wish he would talk to me more. I tried to talk to him about it but got nowhere.