My Support Forums - View Single Post

Blueberrybook · 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I just want the magic again. The last time I was hypomanic was the best. It went on for a whole month. I got so much done. I met my boyfriend. Everything was magical. I soooo wish I could feel like that again. Nothing bothered me. I didn’t do anything too stupid so it didn’t ruin my life. I didn’t get too high. It was great.

I feel so blah now. Being unemployed for five months has really taken its toll on me. I’m so bored all the time I just sleep. I don’t have any motivation to do anything like cook or clean or go to the gym. I just sit around like a lump. And now that I probably lost the job I had I’m even more depressed thinking about starting the process again. It’s horrible. And I realize it’s not nearly as bad as what some of you are going through but I just...feel stuck.

Plus my boyfriend has become really distant. We don’t talk anymore really and we hardly ever see each other. This is because of his work schedule. He works ten to seven and then goes to the gym so he’s not home till 9:30 and by then he’s too tired to talk. Plus he has his son in the weekends so I can’t see him then. I want us to get through this but I don’t see how we can unless he commits to giving me time each day to talk to me for a little while and commits to seeing me no matter how tired he is. All we do is cuddle in bed anyway. It’s not like we go out on dates or anything. And I’m perfectly fine with that. I just wish he would talk to me more. I tried to talk to him about it but got nowhere.

I also find myself wanting to be hypomanic at times. It feels good, you're productive, and you are not doing super risky or stupid stuff all the time. Once I had a 6 month period of stability that was almost like hypomania, or maybe some of it was. I'd LOVE to have that back again.

I'm sorry about your BF becoming distant. I only had 2 serious BFs before I met my husband, and with my husband, it was crazy. I knew him 2 weeks and it felt like I'd known him my whole life. Much like my daughter now. I hardly remember having a life before she was born, but I did. My husband was the same way.

Do you live together or not? I can't remember if you posted that or not (stupid BP racing thoughts).

For me, with both my serious BFs before my husband, unfortunately them becoming distant was the first sign before they broke up with me

I hope you can get through this. Have you been able to talk to him about it? I think the sooner you can talk to him and tell him you've been feeling more & more distant in your relationship and that things need to change, it might be better in the long run. Yes, it could lead to a breakup, and that would suck, and you'd need to be strong enough to handle that, but I think keeping feelings like that closed up isn't great for a relationship either. No matter what you do, I hope things turn out the best for you