Kept waking up. A part keeps lamenting on how embarrassed he is of our condition, he hates it, he’s ashamed because of it. There is a living scream within. It’s an underlying feeling that is strong in our system that wants to explode, but is kept restrained and pushed back bulging at the seams. It’s an ever present, acute, nagging sore spot in our mind. To let it out would be to admit defeat, indignity, and a mental collapse and everything we have going now will disappear. Must stay strong to never let that happen.