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Colour of Madness · Sep 16, 2018, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amandalouise

you are you already

Example......I know my alters distinctions was not focused on clothing because my system followed the abusers code of do not tell, which meant dont call attention to ourselves by dressing different and all those materialistic ways. our system in order to survive had to be much deeper than clothing, nail polish, make up and other materialistic ways.

we instead had to be cunning, swift, hyper aware of dangers, great at school so as to not call attention to failing grades.... anything that did not point to the fact that the abuse happened and the alters were there. our system had to protect and hold the secrets of abuse at all costs. in order to do that we had to have a special and deeper kind of system then looks, clothing....

maybe your distinctions goes much deeper than the materialistic things, for what ever was needed for you to survive.

I bet if you sit down and think about this you may actually find many distinctions that keep you apart from all the others, makes you, who and what you are that ..........is ...........different and separate from the others.

Oh GOD yes, totally relate to this. We are so tightly bound up about other peoples 'perceptions' and them 'finding out' things about us that its strangulating. We have lots and lots of 'quiet' differences and some more glaring ones as I am sure you do too.

Working on freeing ourselves up more now to also include a few materialistic things though. Our body is female so that probably gives us more room to move from a 'social norms' perspective. We get our nails done regularly and take turns choosing the colours. That started out a few years ago as Kate's special thing really, she was really craving her independence. She'd pick bright bold colours and sparkles then we'd freak out about standing out. But we actually got lots of positive comments and she felt a necessary sense of freedom. Now we all recognise the importance of 'physical' self expression a bit more and sparkles are a must have, but there is also still a lot of fear there; its baby steps.