Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex
do you ever tell people they are triggering you.
it may seem a strange question, but a valid one- do you tell people don't talk about that, it triggers me, or do you just don't tell them?
I was put in this situation today actually.
someone I was with started talking about something that happened to someone else, and that thing that happened to someone else, also happens to be something that triggered me a few months back (their were other reasons as well, but that was the main one)
anyway I went all quiet and she asked me if I was okay and I'm like yes of course, and she's like.. I hope I didn't trigger you, and I'm like no... no, of course not- you're fine
difficult sometimes as I honestly feel I need to tell them
what do you do
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yes I do. I dont use the word "trigger" around here people in general do not use terms like "trigger, dissociating, and other psychologically correct terms" unless they are in therapy or are a treatment provider.
instead of saying to someone, your triggering me, here the language is more normal and less professional.... hey you made me mad, that makes me angry, I dont want to talk about that any more. here people just dont go around saying hey you are triggering me.. you can always tell when someone around here is in therapy or are a treatment provider by the words they use, and those that are in therapy dont usually want others to know so they dont use the psych terms.
Examples of triggers and what I do...
when someone is making me angry I tell them.... what you just said makes me angry, what you just did makes me angry.
when someone is making me feel good I tell them..... thank you for making me feel better, thank you for brightening my day, that feels good what you just did.
when I am excited I tell the person I am with... I am excited to see you, I am excited to do this with you. I am so excited about what you just told me.
My point is the word trigger is just another word for something in our daily lives that caused us to feeling very intense emotions both good and bad.
in every day life human beings naturally tell others what they are feeling.
even if its just saying....mmmmm this food tastes sooo goood (which shows a person was feeling satisfied and happy.) or telling someone that they are sooo tired they cant keep their eyes open, or they are soo hungry they could eat a horse...
I bet if anyone goes back and rereads their past posts they will find many situations where they were "triggered" and told someone about it. Heck when I reread posts I do find many times where members have told me how my posts have made them feel triggered (made them feel good or bad or what ever)
telling people what one is thinking and feeling is normal. so yea I have told my friends and family I didnt want to talk about something because of how it was making me feel. just last night my wife and I had a disagreement where I stated to her the words, "no more, enough, I cant talk about this any more right now" then I went to another room to meditate and clear my head. my children too have been told things like "that's enough, we all need to take a break and talk about this later, go do your homework and we will talk more when we are all calmed down."
yup I am very vocal as a wife, mother, career woman about how I am feeling and when its enough. I even pm / email some members here when Its time for me to not discuss something anymore and take a break from the discussions.