And it all came crashing down...

Yesterday got a letter informing me I no longer had insurance. So BOOM, just like that, I have no pdoc, no T, no doctor, no meds. I don't even know if I have refills, if I can afford them (probably not, there are quite a few), and if I don't have refills or can't afford them, I'll be doing withdrawals from everything at once, during the crazy busy season at work.


I have a part time minimum wage job, and I'm supposed to be able to make it in the open marketplace??! F'ing seriously??! With all my problems (and now having to worry about "pre-existing conditions" issues)? I also have an arm that is a total mess on top of the psych stuff.


I am ... well, not at all in a good state of mind. Euphemism. They said I can complete some application, but I can't imagine being able to afford them. Also, any application would reflect my wages during the busy season, which are not typical. Even if I can afford anything, how long will this take?


I am in a very, very dark state of mind.


So much for not catastrophizing. It has come to pass. Many expletives...