I came from a home where most of my parental needs were met, so I didn't experience the kind of enmeshed transference many speak of here. I agree with what someone mentioned that the term "transference" gets overused and misused a great deal. I go with the definition meaning a transfer of emotions onto someone (in this case the therapist) that originate in perhaps unresolved issues tied to someone in a person's own history. I don't personally think all feelings for a therapist are necessarily transference, and much of what gets discussed here seems less about actual transference and more about poor boundaries, unprofessional behavior of therapists, etc. that cause their own damage and strong emotions.

The term "transference" never came up in any of the therapy; however, there were times we did discuss my emotional reactions to events or people that were clearly tied to my history with individuals that I was replaying, on current events and relationships. I'm sure therapists, in their mind, were calling it transference or projection, but they weren't the types to use therapist-speak much. And we worked specifically on why I was reacting so strongly to those situations/people and how my reactions were often tied directly to those old tapes and histories and traumas from the past. Transference doesn't only occur in therapist/client situations. Mine didn't, but I'm fairly certain I experienced it in personal relationships. My husband's transference was definitely focused on our own relationship; he didn't have those transference feelings/situations with our therapist though.

So yes, even those who had stable familial relationships can have to deal with transference as the result of other traumatic or dysfunctional relationships in their lives; it doesn't have to necessarily be a family of origin issue. People can become harmed by a variety of people and events in their histories, not just by their family history. And that harm can show up in transference within personal relationships.