for everyone it is different... for me it's not about seeing the results... it's more about where i go when i do it... when i cut i don't feel pain... it relieves my panic... i am actively looking for other ways to cope... but, for right now it still has a hold on me... the reason that it's not ok is because it is so dangerous... the risk of cutting too deep... or infection... if you think about it... would you want your doctor cutting you when he is in a panic attack? or when he is needing to disassociate? hmmm guess i need to think about this for myself...lyn