Quote:
Originally Posted by Depressed-Fiance
My girlfriend of 7 months who is 8yrs older than me have split up because I caught her Whatsapping a guy who she met on a dating website (where we met each other) recently and what turned from friendly chat, became sexting.
It turns out she has saved his number all this time (why I don't know) as she says she is just 'friends' with him. I'd noticed his name in her phone months ago when she asked me to check her doctors surgery number and I asked who he was and she said that it was someone she )used to go to school with (which is a blatant lie!)
She texted him first last week asking how he was and he replied saying fine etc which seemed innocent at first. Then he said that he had always wanted her and wanted to '***** her so much'. She replied do you actually and how much do you want me?
He knew she was with me because of her Whatsapp profile photo of the two of us.
This sort of talk went on for a bit until he said 'do you want me?' and she replied 'just sex?' He said yeah, then she said to him 'can't rush it just now' and then he said so when are we gonna do it and she said 'not straight away.'
I only unlocked her phone because I had a feeling/suspician that she was texting someone behind my back due to her Whatsapp last seen times changing very frequently (when she hardly used it prior to this other than to text me.)
If I hadn't had unlocked her phone (which I know was wrong) then I don't think she would ever have told me that she was texting this guy. I caught her and she kept saying that I have crossed a line by doing this......a bit hypocritical since she first engaged in flirty/sexual texting and essentially emotionally cheated on me behind my back!
She has said that I have betrayed her trust, which yes I have, but she in turn has done the same to me because she betrayed me first.
I told her we are done and she didn't seem too bothered actually.
Yes, things haven't been great between us, but we have got past rocky patches in the relationship.
Do you think I am wrong to have looked at her phone or was she wrong to have an emotional affair behind my back?
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Hi OP ! Gosh, this brings back memories of my own issues with an untrustworthy ex and the lesson from that experience was to ALWAYS listen to my intuition. Ask yourself, do I really want to be with this person for the rest of my days? What do I want from this relationship? How will staying with this person benefit me going forward? Would I be happier with someone else?
If you truly want to make this work, do what you truly feel is right. But bare in mind all the alarm bells screaming at you -
LYING, interest in other men, the problems you've had to get through in the past...
Put yourself in your girlfriends shoes - if a man flirted with me, how would I respond? If I truly care about and love my boyfriend and want a future with him, I'd block this flirtatious man. Why interract when I have my man to satisfy those needs?? Don't ever invite toxic, negative energy into your relationship. She should be mindful of that and know hetter, being older than you. You'd benefit more from a truthful, thoughtful, loyal girlfriend and she's out there wondering where you are - have faith
it'll hurt now, it ALWAYS does because you're disappointed but you'll one day move on. I believe in you
The same goes for anyone else with doubts about their relationship and concerns regarding loyalty.