These are good questions. I also wonder--since you said this will require multiple visits, what happens if you go the first time and then feel really weird about it. Would you feel comfortable saying you'd rather not help her anymore?

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I am not trying to pick on you so please do not think that. What you have stated above is not healthy. You should not want your T to love you and you should be in the position of thinking you would do anything for her. If that is really how you feel than I am not sure what exactly you are looking for. You say she needs help not related to your therapy-and worry about saying no-but now you are saying you want her to love you and would do anything for her. I guess I am confused and no disrespect intended.


This is very insightful.





I am sorry but she is taking advantage of you. Her personal life is of no concern to you. It is not your business but she made it your business. No, she isnt mean and abusive but she is behaving unethically and using her authority to manipulate you. You are trying to cope and develop healthy boundaries and she is blurring them.

I think that the fact that you are willing to post about this, knowing that you will get many responses all pretty much stating the opposite of what you want to hear, is progress. Sometimes when I've been on the cusp of making changes, I'm exactly in this place of doing the opposite of what I know would probably be best for me.


I think if you could help your T without any cost to yourself-- including your time (unless you can really spare it)-- then maybe it would feel differently. What feels a little heartbreaky to me is that you feel if you refuse her request, then your T relationship will change for the worse. Doing it freely is one thing, but doing it out of fear of losing her in some way is where it feels exploitive.


But it sounds like you and she had a conversation about this. If you want to share--- was this addressed? Did she assure you that you could refuse freely, or if she did, do you not believe her?