I’m too weak to push through this without medications indefinitely. I should have died when I was abandoned by my family. I read all the literature which said that those such as myself should not be helped. The literature said “They cannot benefit from help”...I’m drowning in self pity and negativity. I should be able to deal without medications, which are not an option. So please don’t suggest medications. I’m sorry for poisoning this space. I have no plans to end this pathetic existence. I do not have the motivation. And I would probably fail.