Too weak to push through this

I’m too weak to push through this without medications indefinitely. I should have died when I was abandoned by my family. I read all the literature which said that those such as myself should not be helped. The literature said “They cannot benefit from help”...I’m drowning in self pity and negativity. I should be able to deal without medications, which are not an option. So please don’t suggest medications. I’m sorry for poisoning this space. I have no plans to end this pathetic existence. I do not have the motivation. And I would probably fail.

Hi mountainstream. Whatever literature has stated that you 'should not be helped' and that 'you can not benefit from help', that you're 'drowning in self pity', please take that literature and either set it on fire to keep warm or use it as toilet paper because that's all it's good for. Only listen to and read things that are positive and are trying to empower you please, because that's a sign that it's coming from the right place.

Hang in there please (((mountainstream))). It's a tough path depression, but you can find some sort of peace again. Thanks for sharing as well.

Sending you much love and huge hugs mountainstream

Sometimes the “experts” are wrong! Oftentimes ones who consider themselves experts are not. Where there is breath there is hope. You are still breathing, so there is hope. You can have a good life, a life with hope.

I don’t know why meds aren’t an option, but I am sure you know better than I do. Is talk therapy an option? What other things have you tried? What do you have energy to try? Can you do any self care?

Thank you for posting here. You are not alone in this horrible disease of depression. My depression tells me all sorts of negative ugly thoughts, sometimes coming at me so fast I don’t even have time to address them. It is very difficult. But we have both survived so far, and it sounds like you survived against the odds. You are strong!

My therapist asked me a question that her little daughter asked her. “How do you eat an elephant?” My response was, “you don’t .” because it’s so big and because I wouldn’t want to eat one because they are beautiful intelligent creatures. But the answer was, “ one forkful at a time.” The concept being that when we are overwhelmed with life and it seems too much to handle, we can try breaking it down into smaller pieces, smaller more doable steps and just take it one small bite (step) at a time. We won’t get it all done at once but when we do what we can, at least we have accomplished something. Sometimes that small accomplishment is enough to give us energy to do more. Sometimes it’s not. But either way, we just keep going the best we can. Just do the next thing. What can you do?

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, mountainstream Please don't give up. Remember that you're NOT weak. In fact, you're very strong, because you're fighting and you're reaching out to us. I'm glad you're here with us and I enjoy reading your posts. You don't deserve to go through this. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. You deserve to live just like everyone else. I hope you'll feel better soon. I know things seem pretty bad right now, but just know that they can get better. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you