Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSeaCat
I really don't know what to say but I want to post. I work full time and attend online school for my bachelor's full time. So I can totally understand where you are coming from even thought I'm stable and have been for a decent amount of time; I keep having those PTSD thoughts my old boss gave me as a parting gift. Sometimes I believe she's right and other times I sit in my office a look around and feel totally grateful for the second chance this lovely boss blessed me with. Who sees me for who I am; I am so very grateful for my wonderful coworkers who love me unconditionally.
I guess the point I am trying to make is do you feel safe where you work; do you have that support system in case you start slipping, do you have a good place to hide and try to give yourself a minute. I'm lucky that I can just shut my door and think for a second but I know you being a teacher you don't have that luxury. Do you feel safe enough to go to work on Monday? I totally understand the fear but sometimes you just have to push past the fear and realize I am going to be okay. That yes I do have issues but I won't let those issues cause me issues.
I wish you good luck and I'll leave a parting  and wish you the best of luck no matter what you choose. |
Thanks for your response. I also had some serious damage from a previous employer as the result of my behavior while manic. I was never mean or ugly, just acted in a very bizarre nature. I was glad they were letting me go because I knew I couldn’t show my face there again.
Currently, I am banking a lot on my current experience and current stress level. However, I believe this thinking is unwarranted. I should be focusing on the future. Do I conclusively decide that I have sometimes been entirely and extremely unstable for years at a time and therefore won’t be able to maintain this work? Or, should I focus on the fact that I have, at times, had up to 8 years of complete stability?