There's the old saying that "Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease." I think in my case the treatment is worse than the disease. I am so tired of fighting this. I only see 2 ways out and both terrify me equally. Some days going to the Dr seems more terrifying until I walk to the edge of the Abyss and stare in. I can never work up the courage to take the final step. There have been 2 times I turned away that I could have gone through with it. To this day that is 1 of my biggest regrets.