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Originally Posted by Out There
In my situation , as I could already see what the issues were and the behaviour had already been proved to me , it did then become pointless to complain or try to get resolution on it. I wasn't going to get anywhere and wouldn't set myself up for more gaslighting , frustration and anger. If a client is seeing this in therapy , leaving is often the best option. If it feels wrong , often times it is , we're getting that warning from somewhere. But we do like to imagine we can trust these people. Sadly , some of them let us down badly , and often they don't respect other professionals and their work either.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella
Actually one of my subsequent therapists was as “safe”, ie respectful and low vanity as possible. However to recover from a bully therapist, I had to put myself on the same plane as my therapists, to dismantle the mystique, to deconstruct the therapist -client dynamic and claim my own judgment. I couldn’t be outside of therapy while being inside it. As always, everyone has to find their own way through.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Out There
Yes , I think we can relate. But we need to use discernment. Things can sometimes be us and our trauma responses and perceptions , transference , etc that don't always reflect the reality. If It's our stuff , we can own it and clear it up , if it's the other persons stuff and they can't do it , we aren't their therapists. The problem I had was a psychiatrist who didn't seem to have had a days therapy in his life for him to be any different. My long term very good T says he got to be like he is through having lots of therapy himself , consultations , and supervision and such.
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When I went into therapy, and for a very long time afterwards, I was so deep in my own difficulties that I could not see when/if the difficulties in "the relationship" and the therapy were the therapist's.
I'm not sure what a solution for this is, for current and future clients, if therapy continues as usual, as it currently seems to be. Maybe a set of how-to's, like HD's above? The situation for me was not so much blatant unethics, violating the code, but the general incompetence and ignorance of many professionals in diagnosing and knowing what to do to help me -- causing additional harm, it
now seems to me, in the process, because of their lack of knowledge. But I couldn't tell or see it well at the time.
