Fuzzy I completely get where you're coming from. CBT does nothing for me. When I tell myself "I am worth something and I am not useless" my inner voice (for lack of a better term) just laughs and says "You can't lie to me you worthless P O S.
Take it for what it's worth I think you are a really nice bear. You seem to genuinely care about others on here and try to help however you can. Even if all you can do is give someone a hug that's more than most people would do. I hope 1 day you can find the bravery to fix this broken cycle you are in.