I am tired of fighting to stay alive, yet I am too scared to seek active measures to end my life. Why can't I just be a part of some major disaster? A mass shooting, tornado, plane crash, deadly traffic accident? I guess there is no easy way out for a coward. Too scared to do anything about my current situation. Too scared to seek help. Too scared to end it. So I just sit here. Paralyzed by fear. Only talking about doing something just like an attention seeker. I would say I can't hold on much longer but the truth of the matter is I don't have a choice.