Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone
Oh, BeyondtheRainbow, I am so sorry you had this experience!! It is incomprehensible. My mother is a hoarder. It perplexes me too. (My sister keeps me apprised of the state of things, as I haven't had contact with my mother for years --too toxic plus I just plain don't like her.) The mess is not to the degree you are describing though. I cannot begin to imagine. 
Your situation has been of particular interest to me because of these similarities (estrangement and hoarding). I told my sister I'd try to be there to help when the time comes (we're on opposite sides of the country), but I totally dread having to deal with it.
I don't know if there *is* a right reaction, you know? I woke up screaming too the last time I was there about 30 years ago. It was a nightmare followed by a hypnopompic hallucination of a snakepit (it was SO vivid and real feeling!), but that probably spoke as much to psychological history as the hoarding.
Anyway, all to say, my heart really goes out to you. |
Innerzone-I'm sorry that you'll have to facet this someday. Having seen how he lived was a hundred times harder than hearing he'd died 2 days before.Estrangement is also hard. I am really grateful that I had the chance to say everything I needed to about a moth before he died. I really told him off, gently but firmly.
I think you're right and there isn't a right reaction. I just need help moving further into the grief process and less into the "solving things that can't be solved" mode. We don't have to take care of the hoard; they are tearing the house down and just throwing the contents into a dumpster. I'd really recommend having this done instead of dealing with it yourselves if possible. What we did, shuffling threw, was really rough.
Again, I'm so sorry that you have this situation. I'm glad you've broken off with a toxic person (and you may have to remind yourself of that a lot of times-I have) and that the end of her life will be tough.
Take care of yourself.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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