I guess im weird in the fact that I don't keep up with when the last time I cut was. I can't tell you to the month and day of when the last time I cut was. I can tell you that it was around a year ago. Since then I have felt with my Dad having a serious injury that could have killed him. I didn't cut during that. My mother in-law died late January. While dealing with everything that comes with that I didn't cut. Yet not a single day passed that I didn't want to.

Now it has been about year and I finally gave in today. It was only superficial, but it felt so good. The relief it brought me. Why did I give in today? What triggered me to cut after all this time? This is going to sound dumb, but I got a promotion at work. "Wait that's a good thing right?" Yes. Yes it is. It's a real good thing. I was very excited about it. And that's where the problem is.

I try hard to control my emotions. I try not to get too happy, excited, angry, or sad (that one is the hardest for me). I was getting to excited and wasn't able to get it under control and cutting helped with that. It helped calm me down.