it's not really an issue of her "allowing" the abuse. domestic abuse, sexual abuse, actually any type of abuse is not about blaming the victims. many times people who are caught in an abusive relationship feel trapped and hopeless and just don't "know" a way out. it is so hard to break the cycle and get free. abuse is complicated, and usually more times then not it is cyclic. as in generational.

to take that first step in addressing abuse is one of the hardest things women, men, have ever done. it is scary as hell. because as bad as abuse is , it is what you know...and the unknown is worse. she may think her kids will be removed if she calls, but what she may not know is that every state, every county has safe homes where she will be protected.

in the midst of an incident offer any help you can in a safe manner. call pd, let the professionals handle it. if it is a long term situation where children are in danger, then notify protective services. do what is best..not for your opinion, but for the children.

no one "allows" abuse....that is akin to saying a woman "allowed" herself to be raped because of her clothing, drinks etc. I think I understand what you are trying to say, but we (everyone) need to be aware of the verbiage used. that is like saying that as a child abuse victim I "allowed" myself to be raped repeatedly....did I really have that much control over the situation? no. control. pl;ays into the situation.