I was talking with a friend of mine who suggested that maybe my visions are part of PTSD. I did grow up in an alcoholic household. I still struggle with comparing "all the good", comparing it to "all the bad". There was violence and fear. I know Ive repressed most of it but I do have flashes of memory. I was also sexually abused starting at age 10 by another student 3 years older. It reminds me of this time of year- leaves starting to change color on bushes and trees, the 60-something degree temperatures... All make me flash back to that time. Maybe these are why Autumn is when I've been hospitalized psychiatrically?