Hey, everyone. Just waiting for psychiatrist here and thought I would share that I just cried, like, full-on crying, for the first time since May, 2013 (during another huge recurrence). I cannot do this anymore. I won't. I am just--done. Finished.

Promised my pdoc long ago that I would not commit suicide and I guess I won't, but at this moment, strictly for that reason. I see zero reason to carry on with this misery otherwise. There is no reason to "live" like this any longer. This is not living.

Still trying to sort out what they are going to do with me. I will post later, unless I'm in the hospital. But maybe there's a patient computer there or they might let me use my phone. I dunno.

Wish I could offer support and hugs to others, but I can't even maintain myself at this point. Thanks to all of you who have taken the time and expended the energy and caring to try to help me. I may be psychotic, but I am not too psychotic to appreciate you. Many, many thanks. It has meant so much to me.