Bipolar check in #39

I’m sorry your feeling sad...

Unless we are driving back and forth from Florida we use the same station all the time ! I’m such a creature of habit

Yes unfortunately I do..typically in winter I always have a pair of boots on with thick socks so I don’t have much trouble. I have thick warm slipper boots for around the house.

I was just stupid to not be prepared.

Thank you, Christina. I'm grieving the deaths of my parents last year and I don't know how to process it. You reaching out literally brought tears to my eyes. I see my T tomorrow though, so I can talk with her about all this. ...maybe. I know I should, I just don't know that I can.

grief is hard

I’m so sorry, I lost my parents way too soon. I felt like an orphan at age 36. I’m 52 now... I still am grieving in many ways.. If you ever want to talk I’m always around maybe something I ramble might help?

~Christina, re: Raynauds --

So sorry you must deal with this, too.

I use the hot "packs" which stick to the bottom of my socks and give off heat. Many hunters use them.
I often get them by the case from Walmart (online). When I want less, I get them in smaller quantities at Walmart, at some sporting goods store, etc.
I only need them if going outside in the winter.

Much Love

I'm so sorry.
I do recall how that hit hard last year. It's a lot to process. Many losses are more intense near/over the holidays.
I know you are very fond of your T. I hope you can tell her.

You are such a kind-hearted man. I hate to think of you suffering in any way. Even so, it's healthy for us to work through our grief.

(((((( Daonnachd ))))))

Much Love and healing, my friend!

I haven't been around here much lately. Been so busy with matters related to my dad. I've seen my siblings more these past weeks than since I was a child.

Dad is doing OK. He may be discharged from the physical rehab next Tuesday. He does not wish to return to his home...yet. He says it is too triggering. My sister and I have been researching possible places for him to stay, temporarily, while he attends a dual diagnosis Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). The IOP is walking-distance from my house. My house is not ideal because a) Hubby and I are going to Florida Thanksgiving week, b) I think a community-like environment would be better, and c) My house is not ideal for an elderly person, though we could accommodate him for a very brief period. Instead, we are looking for a respite accommodation care facility. Today my sister and I will visit one or two near me. If he were to stay at one, I would pick him up and take him to/fro the IOP on those days. Staying in my area is far enough from his home that it should seem like a totally different environment. His insurance will likely not pay for such accommodation since he is able to take care of himself physically. (bathe himself, etc.) He may need to pay all of it out of pocket. I think we need to get Dad past the holidays, then perhaps he will be ready to go home again.

I'm sorry Daonnachd. Grief is difficult so your hesitation about talking about it is understandable.

Maybe write about how you feel. Even if it's just for yourself, writing can help unburden your thoughts. It's not a solution for grief but it might help you cope.

Hi Scooter!

Thanks so much for sharing with us!
Currently, there are very few of us using Mirapex, which might make it more important for us to share our experiences.

i know I deeply appreciate you sharing both your knowledge and your experiences.

I have had a similar experience. I have become very interested in, totally fascinated by, and am quickly becoming an expert in, a topic which has never before held my interest. WoooHooo!

Seriously,I'd started ordering large amounts of these items, upto 50 transactions at a time. I have now done at least 250-300 transactions. I do, however, return 98% of the items. I have maintained interest completely; however, I have found strategies which drastically decrease actual orders.
This has only recently decreased enough so I can give my undivided attention to others, without feeling l am missing out by having temporarily diverted my attention. It's been at least 2 months.

I have also had an issue with compulsive eating for approx. 5 months.. Many report this with Seroquel. I have done so, too. I now must say I am not sure which med(s) might be causing compulsive eating. I continue to think Seroquel is the culprit, as the compulsion gets much worse after my daily dose of Seroquel. I am open to a different possibility, however.

My most recent question re: Mirapex has been: Does a compulsion caused by Mirapex also mean the person is hypomanic? This might be "splitting hairs." Yet, I have seen non-BP people develop compulsions with this med (used for RLS, for example). They are not considered "hypomanic."

My pdoc ran through the symptoms of hypomnia and I'd had one . it is the one caused by Mirapex. She had then pronounced me "hypomanic" and changed my meds. I'm not hypomanic! if anything, I am taking a dive into depression. (I have not yet not honored her desire to change my meds.)

I don't yet have the answers.

To b e continued--

Love to All

I'm working from home today. I'm pretty bored right now waiting for stuff to finish and waiting on someone else for their work.

Mood is okay, but I didn't get much sleep last night with the extra ritalin dose. Went to bed at 7pm, woke up at 8pm, then 9pm, then 10pm, then 2am, then 3am before giving up.

I'm not sure if I want to take an extra ritalin dose today, yet if I don't, idk if I'll make it through the week. I think it's a sacrifice I have to make. But once I'm done with the week, I'm done and I can relax. Only a few more days...

I'm going to try reading something for the first time in awhile. I might as well do something while I wait for stuff.

I always smile BIG when I see a post from you!
i miss you when you are so busy! Yet, I stand behind you 100% in what you need to do!

Good morning dear!

I was wondering if the mirapex is prescribed for something other than restless legs...or parkinsons?
Do you take it for restless legs? Is it helpful for you?
I would worry about these compulsions and it causing hypomania.
worried for you today.
((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

I am so glad to read that the end is in sight!
Not sleeping is horrible.I hope you were able to read just a bit.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Didn't make it to the walk in clinic today, it's like 10 degrees. I couldn't drag myself out of bed at 6am to go there. I really should have. Maybe I'll try tomorrow. It was just so comfortable and warm in my apartment, I didn't want to leave.

HI Bizi!
Love hearing from you!

I take Mirapex for depression which does not respond to anything else.
I also take a mood stabilizer. Some pdocs feel it is critical there is a mood stablizer on board when taking Mirapex.

I have been on Mirapex for approx 12 months. I had not had any type of a obsession/compulsion until more recently.. My episode with it is not anything dangerous and/or in any way compromising. This episode is now fading. So far, Mirapex is so very much better than being stuck in bed with paralyzing depression.

Some people may or may not develop compulsions which are dangerous or not, I honestly do not know. I think this is a very individualized thing, as to if/when it might( or might not )occur and what might or might not be involved.

After having been on it a year, I do think that anyone using it must be willing to ride the relatively fine line between depression and hypomania. One must be very aware of where they are on that line and get to know what that means for themselves. I agree , totally , with the recommendation that people be on a mood stabilizer first and throughout the course of treatment with Mirapex.

I appreciate your concerns, very much so!!!
I do know you care.

If I felt in jeopardy in any way, I would either decrease or I would drop the Mirapex. It has been my experience that mood drops quickly.when MIrapex is decreased or omitted.

I do highly recommend Mirapex to anyone in a otherwise "treatment resistant depression." It has saved my life.

Thanks so much for your concern.It is nice to know you are watching my back.

Thanks again!

I love ya, Bizi!

Hey, everyone. Just waiting for psychiatrist here and thought I would share that I just cried, like, full-on crying, for the first time since May, 2013 (during another huge recurrence). I cannot do this anymore. I won't. I am just--done. Finished.

Promised my pdoc long ago that I would not commit suicide and I guess I won't, but at this moment, strictly for that reason. I see zero reason to carry on with this misery otherwise. There is no reason to "live" like this any longer. This is not living.

Still trying to sort out what they are going to do with me. I will post later, unless I'm in the hospital. But maybe there's a patient computer there or they might let me use my phone. I dunno.

Wish I could offer support and hugs to others, but I can't even maintain myself at this point. Thanks to all of you who have taken the time and expended the energy and caring to try to help me. I may be psychotic, but I am not too psychotic to appreciate you. Many, many thanks. It has meant so much to me.

Just checking in! My mood is good. I slept pretty good. Last night I was up late finishing my last paper for my old school (which I finished!!). I got work tonight and I am hoping it isn't busy cause that makes me anxious

Sorry you are struggling...

My heart is with you. I feel very deep empathy for your suffering. You're at what feels like rock bottom. Perhaps I can remind you that your rock bottom comes along with a few perks?

First, you cannot fall off the floor. That feeling of sinking deeper and deeper cannot occur when you're truly on ground level. You can feel more of the same which truly sucks, but you're feeling it and you're still here and still breathing and your heart is still beating. You're surviving. You can realize you're staring at the same monster each time. It just keeps changing faces.

You've just cried. I see crying in two ways. One, it can give you the water you need to drown further in or two it can lighten the heavy load you've been carrying (since 2013? Woah!). So now you've cried and maybe you can see you're ever so lighter than you were before you let that out? Maybe a good cry was what you needed to start letting go of the weight that is pulling you down.

You are sticking to your promise to your pdoc. You're a man of your word. That's worth its weight in gold and more as far as I'm concerned. It is priceless. You have a beautifully valuable trait. Surely you want to hold onto something so precious. There is tremendous potential there. You're a man with a mind for business. You know how to grow potential.

You're right. This Hell you've been in is not living like you'd want to. It is surviving. You are a survivor. You've also thrived before. You are that as well. This current pattern of moments is not your whole story and it does not have to be your future. You deperately need a new pattern and that requires new strategies.

You need a safe place to strategize a new way forward. Your home feels unsafe at the moment. Could you allow the hospital to be the safe place you need for a while? Could you allow yourself to brainstorm some new plans for yourself there? Could you let yourself feel supported there and not so alone? The hospital is a last resort in many cases, but it can also offer us what we need in some cases. This might be that time for you.

You have so many gifts. You are incredibly kind and bright even when you are suffering through your most terrible darkness. Please don't give up. I'll hold onto hope for you while you work to get it back for yourself. You're used to working out hard and pushing your body every day. Now is the time to push your mind and your heart and your spirit. Be a bit of a warrior and fight for wellness. I appreciate you!!!

Well, again no doctor! Got there and my dr wasn't there. So now it's rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I've not had any problems with vomiting for two weeks so it feels like why go now? Except I do need something for sleep. Didn't sleep last night til about 8 this am fell asleep for about a half hour.

Oh no! I'd be upset if I went to a doctor and s/he was not there. . So glad s/he can see you soon!

I've been researching OTC sleeping aids and found great reviews on this one. It closely resembles the teas/tinctures made for me by an herbalist. They were very very helpful at the time .

Sleep ZPatch by Klova. Go to the website if interested. It's a transdermal patch. Time released, so no morning hangover.

Beware: some people have an opposite reaction to valerian, becoming anxious/agitated and/or wide awake. The majority are just fine with valerian.

I am quite impressed with the ingredients , with the method of delivery (as some ingredients might be hard on the stomach), with the "Board of Doctors," and with the reviews.

The cost is approximately $1.00 per day , which may be problematic for people on tight budgets.

Thinking of you as I research with several people in mind.

I hope your appt tomorrow proves helpful!

Much Love to you!

fwiw, I still think it's worth talking about the vomiting. I know you don't necessarily have Chron's, but people with Chron's can go through periods where symptoms (vomiting) abate/disappear altogether, and then the symptoms return a few weeks or months down the road. Same thing with IBS where sometimes someone can be constipated as all f***, and other times they have explosive diarrhea. GI conditions can be weird like that. I knew a girl in university with Chron's.

[QUOTE=bpcyclist;6685371]Hey, everyone. Just waiting for psychiatrist here and thought I would share that I just cried, like, full-on crying, for the first time since May, 2013 (during another huge recurrence). I cannot do this anymore. I won't. I am just--done. Finished.

Promised my pdoc long ago that I would not commit suicide and I guess I won't, but at this moment, strictly for that reason. I see zero reason to carry on with this misery otherwise. There is no reason to "live" like this any longer. This is not living.

Still trying to sort out what they are
going to do with me. I will post later, unless I'm in the hospital. But maybe there's a patient computer there or they might let me use my phone. I dunno.
[\QUOTE]

I am very sorry you continue to face challenges. I hope you have seen your pdoc by now.

Please stay open to suggestions which might be very helpful to you right now.

I don't know you well, yet can tell you are a unique and a loving, kind , insightful, compassionate person.

You are also very strong even though you might not feel as though you are right now. We can see these qualities in you.

I have absolute faith that you can make it through this and can recover.

Don't give up on yourself. You can give up any old time. For right now, hang in, got one moment until the next! Your situation will improve. If you don't believe it at this point, please know we fully believe on your behalf.

May you feel surrounded by Love during this most challenging time.