The internal unknown to the conscious me .. likened to a castle with a large body of water and me trying to swim but not finding the gate or bridge.

hmmm.... I paid for ''analytical therapy'' but in more than 4 years nothing like that insight was given. mostly blame and shame And since the pus dished out so much of that, it was what I was familiar with.

sorry for the rant in this thread, I have to find insights in other places and sift through a whole lot of stuff which is either not relevant to me or actually triggering

anxiety/fear.... etc... sucks

hugs to you