Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
This seems like a very extreme view regarding firing the client and possibly getting a restraining order. If T's fired all their clients who googled them, I doubt they'd have too many clients left... I think it's natural to be curious about someone to whom you tell your deepest, darkest secrets. Sure, many, possibly even most, clients might not care, but others do. I don't think they should automatically be punished for that curiosity unless they cross a major line.
I've googled quite a bit about my T (he knows much of it, and he's said some bothers him a little bit, but he certainly hasn't fired me for it), but I don't feel I pose any sort of threat to him, and he seems to agree. I think it's a natural curiosity. I'm not going to figure out where he lives and then show up at his house and spy on him (incidentally, many T's work out of their homes, though mine doesn't). I'm not going to figure out where his wife works or his son goes to school and then show up there.
I think if a client talks about Googling their T (beyond, say, checking their license or CV/resume), then that should just lead to a conversation about why the client felt the desire to Google. And if they wanted to talk about anything they found, ask questions (of course the T is not obligated to answer). Maybe some discussion about boundaries, like, "I understand your desire to google me, and that's OK, but I ask you not to look up anything about my spouse or children because I want to protect their privacy." I also think it's a T's responsibility to lock down any social media they have (like if they have a Facebook page, keeping it private) to the best they can, if they don't want any clients seeing it.
[climbs down off of soapbox]
But I still don't think T's should Google their clients.
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I agree that people just need to respect basic boundaries on both ends.
There are clients as seen right here on PC who bypass security measures, finding roundabout ways to get into their therapist’s social media anyway. That’s not okay and really becomes stalkerish. It is ridiculously intrusive and I don’t buy the excuses of helplessness and excuses that we just can’t help ourselves so the therapist just should put up with it.
If you behave, for whatever reason, in a manner that leaves a person, any person — client or therapist— feeling intruded upon and even victimized by boundary crossing, you — client or therapist— has the right to expect that behavior to stop and to dissolve that relationship if they no longer feel emotionally or physically safe because of that behavior. The person’s excuses, be they “professional” or due to mental/emotional state don’t change the fact that the person on the receiving end has been left feeling uncomfortable or unsafe.
MM, if this has left you feeling unable to work with this therapist, you are perfectly within your rights to get another therapist. I still personally believe it is a double standard to condemn another person for behavior we display ourselves, but the bottom line is it bothers you. So, find a different therapist if you feel this is a red flag for you.