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Dec 13, 2019, 08:44 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,008
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Ok @Toto54, in your OP this is what you shared:
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so about 3 years ago I met a woman and over those 3 years we became very good friends. Recently her father died and she leaned on me quite a bit. In our "chats" she explained she has trust issues with men due to a divorce and then dated a guy who turned out t be married. Real recently I had planned to leave my job, and of course I was upset thinking I wouldn't see her again. I talked to her before I left and we both opened up a bit about how we felt about each other. My boss, after 10 days, talked me into coming back, so naturally I just wanted to say hi to her, and let her know I was back, at which time she went bonkers, and later said she was creeped out by me stopping by and saying hi. I think she may be struggling with her feelings but has become very hard with her previous trust issues. In fact I thin it even makes her mad that has these feelings. So what say you?
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Originally Posted by Toto54
Just as a little update, it has now been 3 months since the big blow up and we have not spoken one word to each other PERIOD. I tried once to get her attention to just say I'm sorry for what happened, what does she do, goes to HR to say I was trying to talk to her.
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Why would you even try this after what happened? You said she went bonkers- what does that mean?
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The good news was, the HR director told her to stop acting like a child that maybe I was trying to say something about work, which is possible, or that I was trying to apologize; which I thought was sorta funny that she would be so dumb as to put herself deeper in the hole.
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How did she put herself deeper in the hole? What kind of HR does this? It is no one's business what they told her. Did you ask them about her? You shouldn't have. Remember if they are talking about her they are talking about you.
Its completely insulting to tell her to stop acting like a child. Regardless of her issues with you if I were her I would file a complaint about both what she was told and the fact that you were told about it.
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So anyways, 3 months and not a word, the one thing it has made me realize is that she is very childish to still be avoiding this issue, and not speaking at all.
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No she isn't, First she said she was creeped out- so whatever that is or her reason she stated her feelings and you said she went bonkers. Not talking to you is exactly what she is supposed to do. She said she was creeped out and you say they told her to stop acting like a child. She is actually being mature not talking to you. She is not obligated to listen or accept your apology.
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Either that or she does have feelings for me, knows it but doesn't want to re-kindle so to speak, or maybe both, I don't know anymore.
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I think you should stop projecting your feelings about her motives on to her. Why would you assume this means she has feelings for you? It sounds like she just wants to keep her job.
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All I know is if someone, anyone could not speak to someone for 3 months after you were that close, something is off.
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Something is off which is why you should stay away from her.
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As I said either she is mentally got problems or the other
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Why does it have to go to mental problems? It sounds like she has problems with you and whatever her reasons are its not your business.
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