Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
Thanks for this post BirdDancer. It can be a bummer to compare ourselves to others. I try to do it infrequently and focus my energy more on self improvement. Comparison helps me when I am in a rut and out of ideas as sometimes we need to mimic the successes of others to find our own.
I do well with all of the activities mentioned in the link you shared. I am grateful that when I am well none of these things are a challenge. Like many here there was a time when I was not well and I required assistance. I am grateful this is not the norm for me and I am humbled and have deep empathy for those who need help.
Yes, there are things I could do better right now. I have a list of so many wonderful opportunities that it can be difficult to choose sometimes. I try to follow a value chain as well as my instinct as to where to focus my energy. I've been doing this much more recently. I was 'hibernating' a bit and I've become more creative. That seems to ebb and flow for me. I'm trying to get better at listening to what I need to stay healthy while I push myself to grow.
I do have doubts. I sometimes have a lack of faith and trust and and a fear of risk that holds me back. I'm working with these concepts to find greater joy. My holistic health is of the utmost importance to me and I'm trying not to cross any lines that would break me down to states I have experienced when I was unwell.
I try not to look at it as give something up and frame it more as 'what abundance do I have that I can freely offer?'. When a system is working well it does not require sacrifice. Participants give and receive freely with love.
Just my take. Thanks for offering an opportunity to respond.  |
Thank you so much, fern! I really appreciate what you have written and shared, and a few things really have me thinking...in a positive way. I also experience (or have) much of what you've written. Just as your journey seems to have been a very valuable one, despite the great pain that sparked part of it, so has mine. It's not over, though, is it? I guess the hope is that I will reach a type of "destination". I wonder if I should think of it that way?!?
Generally I am not a pessimistic person. The opposite. But with mood fluctuations I do sometimes fumble, lose steam, feel resigned to my situation. Steps forward are often followed by steps backwards. I have often dealt with great frustration in life, and yet I know I can also be a good self cheerleader, and that sometimes things do happen easily.
You mentioned the fear of risk. I can relate to that! I'm trying to build safety nets of various sorts, but the whole weaving process can seem so complex. I didn't always have such a fear of risk. In my youth, very few things held me back for long. The worst years of my illness changed things. Weakened my skin. My goal is to thicken it, little by little. I've made some progress.
I posted this thread because I know I need to work even on one ADL, let alone the other "usuals" that most people manage adequately. I know that ADL would improve if even one other thing improved, but it's a biggie. How do I create the spark that sets off a positive chain reaction? Take a chance! I signed up for a couple little things the other day.
