Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
On a site like this where so many are interacting there most definitely will be "difficult people" . I have come across them myself. However, while they are present, I have also met some amazing people too. I have met individuals that left me with some "good fruit" even though they were themselves struggling in some way. These individuals never tried to own me either and instead I was able to interact with them in positive caring ways. These individuals have suffered the trauma triangle, but they don't care to use it on others. They tend to have more "depth" to them.
The article I posted is often used by individuals who use unhealthy methods to gain control over others, especially emotional control. Difficult individuals to them tends to be others that don't agree with their POV. Like the trainer that practiced unhealthy control over my daughter and others.
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Okay this makes sense. (What you wrote in the post before this about my sister...I didn't want to copy it because it was long) SO MUCH SENSE. My sister had two abusive marriages ending in divorce but she stayed "friends" with them...while I had no contact with my ex and hate the notion of denial and I hated my sister's denial right up to the end. So yeah, I represented something to her...wanting freedom...genuine freedom to love. And if we don't get that even on our deathbed it is so tragic.
I know about this abuse triangle but I have kind of turned off to psychology. But this is worth revisiting so that I can get straight about my sister. Thanks for talking to me about this.
And if we don't clear things up it is the legacy we hand down. Like the week my sister died her second ex calls my niece (he would be her stepfather) and says he wants to visit my niece...after basically walking out on my sister. He literally went out for a pack of cigarettes...and she never saw him again.
So my niece calls me and is all excited and says, "Should I let him visit?" and I am thinking, "My God, she is just living out my sister's denial," so I tell her I am not going to touch the situation. She calls the guy and says yeah, come visit. What happens? The next day he has a heart attack and dies.
My niece's take? That he missed my sister and wanted to be with her.
I would have to be in therapy for years to unravel all this.
I think the best thing is for us to see the patterns. I don't have anyone like this in my life now...pulling strings. My reward: a pretty peaceful life.
PS Apologies to Azul for hijacking this thread.
