Hey Blue. I wanted to be honest and say I'm concerned. You've mentioned your therapist didn't understand your special connections to others and that you've been watching tons of YouTube. The feeling of the presence has also returned. You've had these kinds of behaviors in the past and they didn't lead to great places. This seems like a bad time not to take your meds.

You stopped taking the Rexulti a few weeks ago and it got very out of control to the point you were in crisis as recently as last week. These medications take a while to work properly and they wreak havoc on the mind when you suddenly shift the levels. Rebound psychosis is a big concern and it seems like that has happened to you a few times recently.

I'm glad you have an appointment soon, but I think you should continue to take your meds as prescribed until you are able to discuss it with your doctor. You've been on a roller coaster for a while and I suspect tinkering with your meds plays a significant role. Rexulti may not be the right choice forever, but bad things happen when you stop it and your insight devolves.