Hi sdfrew2079. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are in a relationship that does not sound like it gives you any reinforcement or affection. We all may mess up but this constant control that is being exerted sounds like it is over the top.

These may be of interest if they apply to your situation.
How to Live with a Narcissist

Signs of Gaslighting and the Cost

7 Ways to Extinguish Gaslighting

Tips for Building Self-Esteem

@CANDC