My abuse/torture occurred when I was ages 44-46. It has taken ten years or so to get to the point where I can even start to honestly deal with it. Way too scared. Beyond terriffied. Being constantly gaslit, invalidated, and all the other stuff abusers employ to deny and shift reality and facts has made it a long and difficult journey. Very proud of myself that I am no longer living in total denial of what was done to me.