Oh of course it is a pain in a neck. Sorry didn’t mean to downplay. I’d just think that you’d share way fewer material possessions in one year than would be accumulated over 25. That’s why I compared. I think it’s a big difference. Not saying your marriage is less important, just that it logically has way less stuff to split and no property or assets no combined account no both names on 100 things no mutual savings no spitting your retirement accounts in half if that’s what other person might want not having to sell property etc etc etc

Oh yeah I agree social scene is a big pain. I lived through divorce, we were in the same group of friends. It was a weird dynamic. We eventually remained friends but it was complicated at first, in fact it took years to say we are friends. It’s always complicated. One can hope to remain on friendly terms after divorce but who knows how things play out. We can hope to just be civil

You don’t need to get divorced at all. Keep working with your therapist and hopefully seek couple therapy with your husband if need to and you’d be fine. My reply was because you said you want a divorce. I thought I was supportive by not telling you “yeah your life will be upside down and your world will collapse”. Looks like I wasn’t supportive. My apologies. You do what’s right