Hello all, I'm new here. I've been having some relationship issues lately. I have also been unemployed for the past 3 weeks, and have been actively seeking employment through all kinds of resources here on the web, so I thought hey, I should see if I kind find a place like ..... this....

I have been engaged since February of this year. I have only known the man I am engaged to since December. There is an 8 year age difference between us, which to me is not an issue. He has three kids from his first marriage. One, the middle child, the only son, lives with us. The oldest, to be 19 this December just moved in a few weeks ago. She's hardly around much, at work, with friends or with her own guy. The youngest lives with her mom, and we get her ever other weekend. Joe has had custody of his two oldest kids for several years. There has been problems with his oldest daughter previously, but she has seemed to come around, to mature a little. After our engagement, Joe told me he wished to not have any more children. We had been talking about kids since the day we met. He wanted to have three, now none. He has had children since high school, and the thought of our relationship not working out, and going through more torn relationships with his kids, child support (which his first and second wife completely took everything he had.....AND he had custody of the kids! There's a first!), made him re-think the whole thing. I wanted to stay with him, and I made the decision that I wasn't going to have any of my own kids, and that his would be mine as well. Things haven't quite worked out that way. I don't feel involved. Joe dodes on his son, who just turned 15 , to the point that it just makes me angry. Aaron, his son, gets to do whatever he wants. Joe says that he wants Aaron to have the best childhood possible because of all the crap he's been through, the fact that his mother never wants to see him (no birthday wishes, cards, didn't come to any of the surgeries he needed, she even says mean things about him-like not getting her a birthday present- to her daughter, who reports it to Aaron when she came to visit).....and these things can make it somewhat understandable. Joe however seems to think that Aaron doesn't really need to do chores around the house. In fact, he doesn't do anything , even home work. Aaron has a learning difficulty, mainly with reading, reading the words, and then processing them. He has LD classes at school, and all of his homework is done with those teachers at school. Joe has never enforced working on schoolwork at home to assist in the problem, so he simply stays in his classes....and doesn't try any harder than he should. Anyway, to make the longest ever story more short, I feel like I am starting to resent Aaron. I told Joe this, and of course he says I should be resenting him, not his son. After school, Aaron stays over at a close friend of ours house, where Joe picks him up after school. Aaron sometimes stays there on weekend nights, to play with his friends who live in the neighborhood. And he also does chores over at our friends' house. I feel that Joe feels responsible for things that have happened to Aaron, and feels extreme guilt. The child simply gets everything he wants, and has his dad wrapped around his finger. I discussed this with Joe last night, and he was so upset with me this morning, he didn't say goodbye when he left for work. In fact, he may be moving out. We have had other issues before, but this has been a long standing one. I feel bad myself that I can't act like an adult, and not like a child.....because I am jealous about the way Joe treats his son. Not to mention the fact, if I can't have my own children, and I am not to have input on the way our (his) kids are raised, how am I supposed to feel? He doesn't understand this. I am beginning to think that through all the obstacles we have worked our way through, in only just 9 months, that this relationship is not worth the effort. We both love each other very much....but I am just teetering on the precipice of mountain.....stay or go?