It's more like just having no reason to get out of bed. I've never really had that before - I always get out of bed to do something. This morning I felt like I had no reason at all.

So I drank some coffee. It could be mild withdrawal from the extra stimulant (I'm taking as prescribed now).

On the topic of cocaine, I remember last year I bought some and threw it away - My morals are stronger than the addiction. It's always been like that. I'll never do it again.

I don't think I feel much anxiety.. Just blah - Need a vacation. I feel alone. I'm upset that my mom doesn't talk to me. She asks if I'm ok all the time - But is always drinking to cope, having bf's.

My dad was really happy that I made that routine list. My sister is being really responsible. But idk where all of this is going to lead.

I talk to my therapist on the 8th on the phone. I suppose I'll have to write down what I'm dealing with before then. I booked an appointment to see my doctor on Monday. I'll have to write down what to say to him as well.

I'm just confused.