I don't know how to feel anymore. It seems like most days my world is falling apart and I'm just standing here watching everything burn. Sometimes I'm absolutely numb, other times I break down and cry and cry and can't stop.

I wish I knew how to make things better. I wish I knew what I could do to make myself feel better. I've been going through so so much since last year and it never ends. I never get a break. I tell people I'm a functional mess. Because I can get up and go to work, shower, exercise, and go through the motions. But half the time I feel like I'm screaming or drowning and no one hears a thing. And there aren't any life lines.

Sometimes I wonder if it's always going to be like this. I just wish, things would be okay again so I could feel okay again.