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In two years I have never once cancelled an appointment with my therapist. I see her twice/week. I cancelled today for a silly reason, but there it is. I simply do not feel like setting up the whole teletherapy thing. Camera, mic, close the curtains so it's not too bright, being sure my hair is presentable, getting dressed just for a video session, pointing my computer in a direction that has a pleasant background, saying good-bye at the end when she suddenly disappears and I see a blank screen...all of it. I just couldn't do it today. It all feels like pushing a boulder up a mountain.
I feel bad, because I know she'll wonder why I cancelled when I never have before. And I hope I don't regret cancelling. I'm just so worn down from this whole covid BS.
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