Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
Realistically speaking, your behavior is a match for hypomania in clinical terms. However, situationally speaking, what else should you have done? I feel you have shown a lot of balance given the circumstances of your trip and impending move. You are definitely stressed and it is a concern, but it is a likely outcome given the current landscape.
I think you just have to be vigilant and work in counter measures to create balance. You took a small break yesterday. That's a good start. Continue looking for ways to keep things in check. Prn meds, breaks, relaxation techniques, etc.
Your pdoc being focused on your Thanksgiving plans is a bit out of bounds. I feel like he's hoping someone will talk you out of your move. I know he cares for you deeply. I could be wrong, but I sense things are sinking in.
Go with the duck if you want. There's no shame in that whatsoever! Some years I made a turkey tenderloin. One year I did brunch with pumpkin waffles and turkey sausage. Whatever works, works.  |
Thanks, Fern. I'm glad you backed me up on some of this, and yet you are also right that I need to be quite careful...in case it's really true...or heading there.
You're absolutely right that my psychiatrist is shocked. It IS finally sinking in for him. He casually acknowledged the move a few times in the past, but yesterday he emphasized something like "Wow! So it really is going to happen!" And yes, I also wonder if he deep down wishes someone would talk me out of it. The progression of what he's said over time was as follows:
Three years ago: "Don't do it!" [Literally, those words sort of barked at me with a stern look on his face.]
One and Two years ago: [Sort of brushed it off as me just talking about it again, and again, as if it was just part of blabber.]
Six months ago: "Why don't you consider Ireland or England, or some place like that, instead?"
Months closer to today: "So, where are you now thinking of moving now?"
Appointment before this last one: "Where is that in Czech Republic? Let me google it? Oh!" Then I mentioned that it was likely that we may never see each other face-to-face again (because of the pandemic) and he casually said "Well, when you come back to visit, you can visit me." [I thought, "Really?!?! Maybe for coffee or something? As if!]
This past one: "So you actually signed a contract? So this is REALLY happening?" [Look of extreme surprise. And even a little confusing responses. I even wonder if a teeny part of him thinks my "hypomania" is making me make up stories. But then the greater part of him actually now knows this is a bona fide move. He was asking me all kinds of questions about my husband and his job, etc. Then the whole Thanksgiving thing came up.]
Vs. my therapist, who has just been working with me in a not overly helpful way. And I don't really care about her help. And yet, my psychiatrist was telling me what I SHOULD be working with her to address (in regards to my family, specifically the strong possibility that my father may not be with us the next time I return to the US.) Truly, I have no desire to talk about this with her. I told him that I'm pretty much at the stage of acceptance (about everything).
P.S. I really love the pumpkin waffles with turkey sausage Thanksgiving idea! That would be right up my alley. Too bad I gave away my waffle maker to a Craigslist shopper that came for a desk and ficus tree. His young son was so excited about the waffle maker bonus. I had also given his 10-year old sister a brand new beautiful adult coloring book with new colored pencils. That man was so appreciative, that he sent me a photo of the ficus tree in his house.