I am this family member's only link to his family of origin. The way I am currently handing it is that I leave or end the phone call when things get negative. As far as the other family member, I listen but make few promises about following the advice. Though the advise is sometimes very good--it is hard to implement things another person's way. I am not the same person with the same characteristics/my style is very nonauthoritarian so I can't always be what they want me to be and I know this and keep it in mind in my head. When I have tried to be as they want and not how I am--that has always screwed things up.