My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-In Thread #54

busymomof5 · Jan 26, 2021 at 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

My dear friend is currently in the hospital and had a catheterization done to check for any cardiac damage she might have had, if she'd had a heart attack. Turns out that no, she hasn't had a heart attack. What she does have is liver damage due to sitting up alone every night and drinking.

I'm angry. I should be compassionate, but I don't feel as much compassion as I do annoyance. For many years C. has told me that she has health problems...high blood pressure, "some kind of heart problem", she often doesn't feel well, is frequently anxious and depressed. I have encouraged her repeatedly to go to the doctor more often, get on an AD, get into therapy. She hedges and avoids, tells me she's terrified to go to the doctor. I've worried about her so much.

Now I find out that she has liver damage from being an alcoholic. I feel betrayed and like a fool. All this time she's been lying to me. I've wondered why she calls me late at night (I never answer at that time); well, now I know - she's drunk. She leaves long, rambling messages crying that she misses me, and so on.

I feel foolish and used.

Maybe she was self-medicating for her depression and didn’t realize she was an alcoholic. My mom’s best friend recently died suddenly of liver failure secondary to alcoholism. Everyone was shocked. Her friend had gotten a divorce and was lonely and depressed. She secretly self-medicated with alcohol. Even she did not realize she had become an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a serious disease.