I think we are all so different and prefer different things. I prefer people express generic condolences and further on we can talk more about actual feeling if I open up a discussion. I’d rather they didn’t say anything that might be incorrect, triggering, upsetting, intrusive, they don’t know if I am in pain etc

And I don’t want to assume that I know what they feel or know what condolences feels better to them when I express them. I still believe it’s better to say less but then have further discussion if the person opens up.