TL,DR: I justify looking for someone with the same qualities and achievements as looking for commonalities but I fear that my ego is just looking for justification by a woman who is 'qualified' to judge the greatness of my ego's accomplishments. On the other hand, its hard to have a relationship with someone with whom you don't share any of the same hobbies and interests. How do I split them apart.

Long version:
I've been an 'achiever' all of my life. I was a college track athlete and graduated with honors from a ritzy university, got a professional degree, and competed in Ironman. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager - like suicidal planning with plans that were researched and designed for lethality. Regular exercise helps immensely with my depression.

I'm not outwardly egoic, I don't race anymore and even when I did, I didn't like feeling judged about my race times (although they were mostly good). I never had race tattoos or bumper stickers, and my medals are all thrown into a drawer until they are donated to a charity that re-finishes them for Special Olympics; I have never constructed a shrine to myself.

Now in relationships, I'm always trying to meet someone who is somewhat accomplished in terms of athletics. I justify it with the way that prior relationships have been very difficult for me when I have had to reduce workouts to less than 30-40 min 2-3x a week; to me, this isn't a huge time commitment. But is it really just my ego seeking justification from a 'worthy judge'? https://pcforums-liviant.netdna-ssl....s/rolleyes.gif